I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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