I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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