im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
