well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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