I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize