Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
