when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize