we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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