I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
