I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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