I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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