and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
