Don't you send me to vm
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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