you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
