Nicole vs. Life
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
