You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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