Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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