Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
