i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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