His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
