Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
