we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
