I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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