I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
