Christians are straight up FREAKS
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
