franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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