im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize