Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.

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(224): View more from Illinois

U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.

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(248): View more from Michigan

SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!

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(314): View more from Missouri

he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"

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(813): View more from Florida

I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.

Fav 11 1914 1156
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend

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(940): View more from Texas

Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other

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