never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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