PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
