she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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