Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
