they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
