awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
