id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize