You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize