if i died would you start the facebook group?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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