he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
