I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize