so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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