GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
