The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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