i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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