i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
