I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
