it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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