Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
