He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
