i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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