You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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