You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Fuck me I smell like cheese
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
