Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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