Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
