i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It's blow job season.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
