Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I hope mine doesn't look like that
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
we're making bets on your personal life
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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