I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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