the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
