She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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