I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
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