I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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