My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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