have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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